Naps, Neural Pruning and the Teen Brain

Over the years, I have worked with many a parent concerned about their teen’s rather teen-like behavior. Why don’t they care more about grades? All they want to do when they come home from school is sleep. I can’t get them motivated to do anything. They just lay around all the time. I don’t even know who they are anymore.

Behavior and mood can shift dramatically during adolescence, and it can be jarring.

Many parents feel these changes, which do not always manifest as the best behavior, indicate failure in their parenting. There is also sometime a mindset that this behavior represents their child’s final character development. Please rest assured, whoever your kid seems like at 15 is not who they will be for the rest of their life. 

Personally, I LOVE working with teenagers. I think they’re some of the most creative, passionate, fascinating people on the planet. And there’s a biological reason for this–teenagers have more dynamic brain activity and more neural connections than a mature brain.¹ They also have limited executive functioning and are more prone to taking risks, which makes adolescence a great time for creative exploration and the development of convictions and ideals. Their neuroflexibility makes them curious and open and capable of truly amazing things.

Human brains are not meant to be dynamic and flexible forever, which is where neural pruning comes in.

Teens lose about 1% of their grey matter per year between the ages of 13 and 18. This is basically the brain’s way of “cleaning up” and making itself more efficient. As we age, our thinking and habits and personalities become more rigid. We don’t need all the neural connections we have as teenagers. Our mature brains become better at repetitive and specialized tasks and our behaviors and personalities become more stable.

I always try to gently remind parents that adolescents are not adults. Nor are they children. They are in a state of development where there is both advancement and regression. Their brains are literally restructuring itself, and that’s hard work.

Teenage brains are kind of designed to make you worry.

Not only do teenagers experience neural pruning, they also have underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, which is the part of the brain that regulates decision making, reward and the anticipation of consequence.¹ Simultaneously, they are going through hormonal changes that stimulate risk taking and appetitive behaviors such as experimentation with sex, drugs and alcohol. Not only do they have a propensity towards risk taking, the part of the brain that would counter this isn’t fully developed. And thus you get, well, teenagers.

So how can you support your teenager through these brain changes?

Don’t panic. Teenage years are hard. If your teen is expressing suicidal ideation, self-harming or engaging in behavior causing significant danger to themselves or others, please seek out professional help. But often times the behaviors parents worry about are normal and temporary parts of being a teen.

Give them a lot of positive affirmation. Parents forget sometimes how critical teen years are in the development of healthy self-esteem and self-image, and how important that self-image is to their mental health both now and in the future. It can be easy to get frustrated by your teens but don’t forget they’re probably struggling, too. Social pressure, stress, self-image, societal pressures, social media, academics… these are all things your teen is navigating every single day. A lot of times, teen clients tell me they feel like they’re always being told what they’re doing wrong. Remind them of all the reasons you think they’re special and amazing. They will hear it, and it will matter. Even if they roll their eyes.

Let them sleep. Sleep is hugely important to teenage brain development. In fact, Researchers believe most pruning occurs during sleep. The average teen needs about 9-10 hours of sleep per night, more than we need as children or adults, and more than most get. I always encourage parents not to get frustrated with their teens for wanting to nap after school or spend a lot of time alone in their rooms. Napping can improve cognitive and academic performance, reduce anxiety and depression and allow the brain to continue its pruning process. I’m often asked by parents of teen clients if their teens sleeping a lot means they are depressed. This is something that can only be evaluated on a case by case basis. But, in most cases, probably not. Teens need sleep. In fact, science tells us that teens getting proper sleep may be the most important factor in allaying the difficult behavioral and emotional changes in adolescents.²

Get them into counseling. 13% of teens between 12 and 17 have experienced a depressive episode in the past year and that statistic jumps to 1 in 5 for teenage girls. Mental illness amount teenagers is increasing globally. Therapy can give your teen a space where they can process their feelings in confidence with a trusted adult. It can also be an opportunity for your teen to learn healthy coping to manage stress and social pressure.

If you’re interested in this topic, I recommend this fantastic TED Talk.